Bullied at school for being the odd one out, Warren Davies was always the new kid because his small business owner parents moved often. As a teenager, Warren thought he’d got lucky when they relocated to a dairy farm near Kyabram, in Victoria’s Goulburn Valley.
At 22 he bought land next door to his parents’ farm and went into business with them, the bank and his “silent business partner” Mother Nature. Warren’s experience is one many farmers can relate to: flood, the collapse of a family farming partnership, crippling debt and drought. “I was milking cows on a bitumen road for three weeks, because the flood water had come into our farm,” he said.
“It taught me a lot about resilience, about adapting to change, about dealing with adversity, but it also triggered something that I now call and what I share as my mental health journey. All the stuff that happened as a kid that I kind of pushed behind … the stress of this event triggered all that and it was in my face.”
But he ignored his own wellbeing and focused solely on getting the farm back up and running again, despite the cloud that began following him.
Warren said he began to spiral out of control when the relationship with his parents broke down and he took on more debt to buy them out.
Life began to unravel during the Millennium drought, and an increasingly angry and frustrated Warren isolated himself from family and friends. “I found myself in a dark hole where I thought the world would be better off without me,” he said. “I had two choices. I can continue to be bitter and twisted or I can choose to get better. I chose to get better that day, dusted myself off and I went home.”
Fork in the road
Emotionally, financially and physically exhausted, Warren sold the cows and walked off the farm two months later with his wife and their children, although it was three years before he could tell her about what he’d almost done.
Warren now shares his experience of reaching rock bottom, along with his ongoing struggles with depression and anxiety – and the lessons about resilience, persistence, determination and wellbeing that he’s learned along the way – with audiences across Australia as The Unbreakable Farmer.
Speaking at the TurfBreed National Growers Conference, he said his mission was to raise awareness and education around mental health and wellbeing, particularly in rural and regional areas.
Warren said the three main lessons he learned were the importance of communication, connection and seeking support.
“They were my three greatest failures, but they’re my three greatest lessons,” he said. “I know the impact that mental health and suicide or mental illness in our community has. I know the impact that mental health has in the ag industry as well, because I’ve been there.
“Probably the most important part of my mission is about inspiring conversations. It’s really important that we talk about this stuff, and communicate with the people around us in our support network and with our family and friends. If we’re not travelling okay, we’re facing any sort of challenge, we need to start talking about it.
“And thirdly, it’s about empowering people to seek help in a safe environment that’s free from stigma. So you’re not frightened to stick your hand up – whatever the challenge is – and say, ‘Listen, I’m facing a challenge here and I need some help’.
”Asking for help not a sign of weakness, it’s actually a sign of strength. And when you do seek that help, make sure you treat it seriously.”
Get and stay connected
Warren urged everyone to identify a support network of five people who “when the proverbial hits the fan” they could talk to, and actively maintain community connections.
“Each and every one of us in this room is travelling a journey,” he said.
“Some of our journeys might be quite similar, but our perspectives are quite different. We all pick up pieces of wisdom along the way and you just never know that you could be holding the jigsaw piece part of someone’s puzzle that they’ve been searching for for years.
Just by talking and communicating and sharing your wisdom you can give that to them, and they’ll be able to move forward in their journey.”
Warren’s tips for helping yourself and others:
• Know the signs – understand and acknowledge your emotions, triggers, positive and negative stresses and challenges.
• Open up conversations – be empathetic, ask open-ended questions, give the person your undivided attention, remain non-judgemental and don’t rush in with advice.
• Listen and support – listen quietly, demonstrate genuine care, build rapport.
• Encourage help seeking – provide access to resources, support networks and professional services. If you’re concerned about a person’s safety call 000. Remember to check in periodically with yourself and others.
More details http://www.theunbreakablefarmer.com.au/
- If you, or someone you know needs help or someone to talk to, contact your GP or these services:
Lifeline 13 11 14
SANE Australia 1800 187263
MensLine Australia 1300 789978
headspace 1800 650850
Kids Helpline 1800 551800
Beyond Blue 1300 224636